Sunday, December 18, 2011

Life Plans That Do Not Work

Her father is depressed.

All he talks about is how depressed he is, when he is not, he is talks about depressing thoughts, depressing affairs, how the world is going down the drains and only dark days await us.

He is probably close to being 80, among the elite group of men that would be viewed as extremely accomplished in terns of social, financial or political status. Yet he is depressed. He is revered and respected by many, he is visited by men of all backgrounds and his important opinion is sought by many. PhD students seek his help with their dissertations and writers ask for his assistance for their papers, yet he is depressed. He can afford medicine, a driver and a cook, lives in a large house and can travel, yet he is depressed.

He sits with his deceased wife's picture, most probably enlarged and framed, and speaks to her. Everyday he tells her how sorry he is that he did not spend as much time with her as he should have. He apologizes for not traveling enough with her, and asks forgiveness for not doing more things together, for not showing more love, for not lending a hand when he could have. They wanted to retire together and do so many things, so many plans were set for that time that seemed so distant in the future, only that time never came, her itinerary did not permit. Her trip in this lifetime was to leave earlier than retirement, their schedules in this lifetime were not synchronized and he was left with only his plans.

Apparently in life we cannot synchronize schedules and prepare for future events when the other party is a loved one, apparently the only way is to set time for them now while their schedule still permits.