Fears, phobias, anxieties, how do we develop them? How do we grow older holding on to them, nurturing them? When is the seed planted and who plants it?
I thought I was over my fears and phobias a long time ago, years and years passed without feeling the tiniest hint that they might be still there lurking in the darkest depths of my mind waiting for the right moment to sprint. Once they do they are like a spoiled brat on a sugar over dose, there is no shutting them up.
I guess the only time for me (and maybe for most people) to be rid of these ailments was during my thirties, before that, in our twenties, we have our fears of the future and what it may hold, and in our forties, we again have our fears of the future and what it may hold, only this time around they are fortified with ammunition collected in the previous two decades (aka, baggage), and made more logical and rational with wisdom and solidified with acquired knowledge of what might go wrong. They are intensified because of a new fear element that adds insult to injury, time, it starts to run out, we now fear we are on count down.
Ah how much I miss stupidity of young age and the freedom of ignorance. How I miss the beauty of not knowing and the anticipation of expecting only the best, not because I was an optimist, but because I was not formally introduced to pessimism.
How is this Happytizing Life, it’s not, but maybe when we know our disease we might be able to find the cure?