The Awkwardness Of Weddings

Maybe a million people have already written or thought of writing about this, but i will take the risk of repeating what has already been said, I have to say it out loud.

I feel awkward at weddings.

Be it a friend’s, a cousin’s, an acquaintance’s they are all the same, that same feeling of looking, acting and behaving in an awkward way. I tried to work on myself not to feel that way, I have even made myself attend weddings when I did not want to, kind of a special training course to overcome my ailment, it also did not work.

Yesterday, in a wedding, a friend asked me if I felt that way. I laughed, it was almost like he was letting me in on a secret, and I thought, yes, another closeted wedding hater. Poor soul needed to know that he is not alone in this world. I thought of asking if he would be interested in forming an association for such people like us who get a rash from just receiving the invitation card. He might not. Will have to find other partners for such a venture. Maybe we will become a recognized minority and ask for our rights, Single Wedding Haters Association, SWHA, maybe? Ok maybe the acronym needs work but it will have to do for now…….I think.

Last night I decided to observe my case and I think I got to know a few things about why the awkwardness. One of them is that constant smile, smirk is more like it, the kind that makes your face hurt. Then comes the pushing yourself to dance when you are not in the mood or when your blood stream is not running with enough alcohol in it, not enough to make a fool out of yourself anyways. You stand there clapping, smiling and trying desperately to paint that I don't give a damn and I am having a good time expression, only to fail miserably and to be spotted by the other single people using the same techniques. You are trying to move with the tunes but you are conscious of every move that is fabricated to look as if you are really having a good time. Then there are the endless waves and HIIIIIIII’s the type accompanied with the biggest smile you can fathom, the smile that seems to stay, the one you notice you still have on 10 minutes later as if you had forgotten to resume normal facial expressions operational mode.

But a little honesty is in order and I have to admit, as much as I dislike all of the above, it is the accompanying loneliness that really bothers me. Weddings are not single friendly, very much like most parties were most of the involved are either couples or couple wanna bes. If you are alone and intend to keep it that way then you are an outcast, unnecessary baggage. You neither fit with the couples, nor benefit the wanna bes, you are in the way of events wasting people’s time by being there. For the couples you can be a threat, people mark their territories to keep you out. I think I caught someone peeing around his wife. For single people you are a waste of time. Imagine someone who is interested in you that spends the evening talking to you hoping it would lead to something only to discover that it wont, then you have wasted, time, good “ulterior motive” conversation, wine and a good dress on what would otherwise be time and assets better invested.

No, being single is not part of being in a wedding, you either belong or you don't, and if you send all the right signals that you are in singledom and plan to remain there people will make sure that you remain there. ALONE.

Pray it is a good buffet.