His only fault was that he liked her, a lot. He expressed it to mutual friends, he slightly hinted to her, actually a bit more than a hint, and a bit louder than his fear of rejection allowed. Still she mocked him. She mocked his looks, she mocked his attitude and she even mocked his body language.
I am not here to be judgmental. I have witnessed many such waltzes being danced in front of me, courtships, flirting and out right proposals but I always left people alone never interfering nor judging their decisions, neither agreeing to nor refusing their rejection of the other.
I have also had my own share of relationships with their silly dramas that get played on that stage along with beautiful love scenes. I admit mine were mostly long term and very few, but in between I had to go through these mating procedures with all the expectations that come with the first date and all the anticipation that precedes the second and all the fears of rejection when that phone does not ring, and the occasional prayers for it never to ring, along with the whole bag of emotions that comes with the whole period. One thing was constant however, deep inside, I was always so very grateful for every person that liked or loved me. I always felt so humbled by their emotions especially when these emotions were not mutual. It takes a big person to express love and not wait for the other to express it first, or to express love and not know whether this huge emotion would be reciprocated.
One thing I give myself the right to judge, I will think a bit less of a person that does not act and react gracefully when someone expresses their love to them.
2 comments:
Most people I know would probably sympathize with Mr. X, they will start thinking, this $%^#@ is trying to belittle his untainted platonic love , however allow me to consider a different approach, a deflection from the norms so to speak.
I wonder if Mr. X is a masochist; what I mean is, in the prospect of a possibly happening relationship there are what I call “encouraging signs”, if she stops and look at you ... if she often initiates contact with you ... if she laughs at your jokes and act like a drunk girl on a happy Prozac trip, just to name a few. There are also what I call “anti self-mortification measures”, these are used when none of the above applies and you need to make sure, as to save yourself the embarrassment; she's indifferent towards you, when you ask her out for dinner she asks who else is coming, and she playfully calls you her brother. These signs and measures are safeguards to use to buffer us from an unnecessary awkward moment that will last a life time.
To conclude my twisted approach, why blame the girl, she never gave encouraging signs and Mr. X never used the anti self-mortification measures even though she was blistering with rejection.
I love your posts.
Afif,
You are absolutely right and I totally agree about the signs that people give so that both can know where they stand, if they are blessed with enough social intelligence that is. Sometimes people KNOW where they stand and measure their next step accordingly to ensure minimum damage. However, all this happened before any of these warning signs could given and before allowing a chance to get to know this person. I do understand that sometimes people don’t even want to get to the stage of even knowing, but mocking is unacceptable in my books. It’s all about being thankful that someone thinks you are special regardless who they are.
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